Unusual moments. I wish they happened more often.

I sat in the back seat, pillow in hand, buckled up, prepared for the long journey. And as he drove, the ever-moving scenic view that passed along the winding, forest-covered road made the sunlight dance a little. The occasional bright flash forced the sunglasses over my eyes. Silence took precedence. The gentle sound of the wind along the pane of glass that rested just inches from my nose was the loudest noise I heard, other than the beating of my heart in my chest. I liked the quiet. I liked more so when it was broken. His throat cleared and as he glanced in the rear-view mirror he asked me what the best thing that came out of this was. It didn’t take me long to think of it, verbalizing it was the issue. How do I explain this newfound feeling that possesses my heart so wholly and with such force? So I raised my sunglasses, looked in the mirror, and fixed my eyes on his face, just so he knew I was serious…if just this once. And as I began, the words came slow and planned at first, and then my heart took over my thoughts. It attempted to explain with fragile words this overwhelming feeling, this new mentality. Afterwards, he didn’t say anything, so I don’t know what he thought of it. I don’t know if I explained it well enough. It was then that I realized why the heart feels instead of talks. I hope he understood correctly. I wish I could give him my heart for 5 seconds just so he could feel what I feel- these feelings are amazing things. I love when he gets up the courage to ask me questions. Usually they are deeper than the casual inquiry. I like that about him. I enjoy being able to see his heart, to show him mine. I think I found out where I got my “deep thinking” from. He is a pensive, gentle soul, and I love him.

Time and time again I see pieces of me from different angles. It is odd, but I like it. I get to see me how my friends see me, how my parents see me, how my family sees me, how I see me. How I thought my view of me was pretty clear, but really I see only the little bit I want to see. Honest moments bring a truthful reality. They make me see the things that I avoid confronting; that I think I know, but really don’t; that I want to be but can’t quite become, because I am stubbornly refusing to change what I need to.

Final Closure. Great Relief. Immense Growth. Unwavering Belief. Unstoppable Love. Ever-growing Hope. Loving Open-Mindedness. Total Acceptance- just a few things that I gained, in this short time.