The possibilities are endless. I just dont know which one to take.

I am slowly becoming a little bolder. I am seeking to step out onto something not quite defined. It is unsettling, but I welcome these feelings of doubt. Chissa! Forse trovero’ qualcosa piu bella di quello che ho immaginato.

I had a great conversation with my Italian professor today. I still talk like I am 2 but I succeeded in making a joke, which he laughed at. Almeno sono il tesoro di qualcuno.

I love my classes with him. He has made me want to be better, to learn more. Mi innamoro sempre di piu con questa lingua ogni giorno.

So I fiddled with my guitar today. I am trying to write a new song but am failing miserably at it. Questi pensieri sono persi dentro di me, e non riesco trovarli.

I am very much looking forward to the holidays. It becomes a little strange to see the family unit change. If the family isn’t broken by divorce, it is divided later by life. I remember when my youngest brother got married. Up until that point he was my best friend, we hung out every day. If he wanted to do anything he would ask me to go with him, if I wanted to go anywhere, he was the first one I called. Now I have seen him a total of 5 times this whole year. Change sucks sometimes, life pulls us apart, and we learn to deal with it; but that still doesn’t negate the fact that I miss my family when I am away. Ma allo stesso tempo io volgio spingerla via, perche’ io so che partiro’ e forse sara’ piu facile piu tardi se comincio spingerla via poco a poco adesso. In questo modo, il mio cuore puo imparare come perdere. Io non so quello che fare di piu.

I saw it in a store and thought it would look good on my wall...

I went shopping today. Some call it window shopping. I call it telling myself I am going window shopping but knowing all along that I will end up buying something that I don’t necessarily need. I promised myself I would not spend any money. Boy did I lie. I ended up buying one of those plaques that almost always have a clichéd saying on it. You know the ones you see in Linens & Things and Bed, Bath & Beyond? Yah it was one of those. I know I am a sucker. I bought something for 5 times the cost it took to make it, and I almost don’t care if it is lame or a waste, because I liked it… sho nuff, I liked it. Sure I could just remember the saying, write it on a blank piece of paper with a sharpie, and tape it to my wall, but that wouldn’t be as neat or pretty. What can I say? I am not that artistic, or artistic at all, really. In fact, coloring by number was a struggle for me when I was younger, and to this day I have difficulty staying inside the lines. Anyways, getting back on track. Me…bought plaque…. Liked plaque…YEAH plaque! It is a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, of whom I am quickly becoming an aficionado, and this is what it said:

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”

So let’s not worry so much about life, and things beyond our control. Instead let’s look to what we can become, what we can make of ourselves as people. We can be kind, we can be accepting of others, we can be genuine, we can love others for no reason at all except for the mere fact that we know that people need compassion. We can make what lies within us so much greater than the hate of others, greater than the past, and brighter, so much brighter than the future.