I am slowly becoming a little bolder. I am seeking to step out onto something not quite defined. It is unsettling, but I welcome these feelings of doubt. Chissa! Forse trovero’ qualcosa piu bella di quello che ho immaginato.
I had a great conversation with my Italian professor today. I still talk like I am 2 but I succeeded in making a joke, which he laughed at. Almeno sono il tesoro di qualcuno.
I love my classes with him. He has made me want to be better, to learn more. Mi innamoro sempre di piu con questa lingua ogni giorno.
So I fiddled with my guitar today. I am trying to write a new song but am failing miserably at it. Questi pensieri sono persi dentro di me, e non riesco trovarli.
I am very much looking forward to the holidays. It becomes a little strange to see the family unit change. If the family isn’t broken by divorce, it is divided later by life. I remember when my youngest brother got married. Up until that point he was my best friend, we hung out every day. If he wanted to do anything he would ask me to go with him, if I wanted to go anywhere, he was the first one I called. Now I have seen him a total of 5 times this whole year. Change sucks sometimes, life pulls us apart, and we learn to deal with it; but that still doesn’t negate the fact that I miss my family when I am away. Ma allo stesso tempo io volgio spingerla via, perche’ io so che partiro’ e forse sara’ piu facile piu tardi se comincio spingerla via poco a poco adesso. In questo modo, il mio cuore puo imparare come perdere. Io non so quello che fare di piu.
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