...wait for something beautiful.
I don't believe in these vague possibilites, but I am not going to try to change you or myself. I am going to love you just as you are, and nothing will change that. Nothing can change that. The force of the impossibility of the thing is greater than anything else that could posses my heart. This love does not waiver. It is not dependent on you. It is not dependent on me. It alone survives through the storms that beat us down. Through the times full of hate, pain, regret, distraction, empty words & broken promises. It alone holds us up when we grow weak. When we find ourselves directionally challenged. It alone turns us into something great. Something we never thought we would become- an essential part of someone’s heart, someone's soul.
I miss you when you aren’t here. When you aren’t next to me. When you are far enough that your voice cannot successfully travel the distance to reach my ears. When I can’t feel your hand in mine. When I can’t put my ear to your chest to feel your heart beating, slow and rhythmic. When I can’t see your smile- it brightens my life. When I can’t hear your laughter- it lightens my mood, makes my heart glad.
I dream of you sometimes. I remember once I sat across from you at a coffee shop. We spoke of life. You told me your secrets and I told you mine. We laughed till it hurt. Your foot touched mine under the table. I didn’t mind. And as we stood from the table you reached for my hand, but before my fingers could entwine themselves with yours I was roused by the incessant beeping of my alarm clock. I shut it off and went back to sleep. Lucky for me, my dream waited. And as your hand held mine, as we walked slowly, as we shared our hearts, I missed my 9:30am class. I didn’t mind.
And still you have no face. And still my heart seeks you. And still I go on.
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