Take away these thoughts of insolent arrogance. Take away the broken pieces that currently hang off me. I don’t want to drag them along anymore. I want to fly.
I want to believe without seeing all of the time. It is getting harder as I grow older. I don’t like that so much.
I’m driven by my emotions more than I would like to admit. I realize it, and still I deny it. I don’t want to be this vulnerable thing that I really am. I don’t want them to see it, but I haven’t figured out exactly why. What is this that is driving me? This horrid pride keeps me bound.
After it all, I sigh deep and can do nothing but smile, because that is where my heart is- in a constant state of smile. Yes, even when I’m sad, it smiles back at me. When I am in my foulest of moods and don’t want it to, still it smiles back. I couldn’t stop it if I tried. I am so thankful for that.
I am reaping what I sow- a life of non-commitment. When will you dare to change?
When will you dare utter someone else’s name the way you wish they uttered yours?
When will you chance it, you coward, you fraud.
And still I spur myself forward wishing to be more than I am.
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